Kelley

Dear Kelley, December 3, 2001

I remember…….

…you before you were born, squirming and bouncing around from the beginning

…you when you were born, I was so sure you would be a boy, but this beautiful little girl came instead

…you when you were a toddler, ever following Kim around

…you in first grade, you were ready for school after Kim and you played school so many times

…you when you went into the gifted program. You were bored with regular classes, this was more of a challenge

…you in Olympics of the Mind, and the times I went to judge

…you as you went through your awkward stage. You were so upset when people thought you were a boy

…you as you and Kim had your sibling battles

…you as you became a beautiful young lady

…you when you announced you wanted to be a foreign exchange student, and went to Brazil

…missing you so much during that year you were away, but enjoying so much our many phone conversations and letters

…going to the airport to meet you when you came back from Brazil. You grew up so much I hardly recognized you

…meeting and accepting Joe and his family

…our trip to Florida, the car was so full there was hardly room for us

…You inviting Fatima's family to "live" with us, and even though we couldn't speak each other's language at first, it really worked

…Camp Tweedale, you had such a wonderful experience being a counselor there

…supporting and loving me unconditionally, even though we had our differences, we always loved each other and always will

…you graduating in 5th place in your high school, making the decision to attend Penn State University and having the capability of attending the main campus

…your college days, and the times you would call me just to say hi, and the times you came home to surprise me

…Our wedding day on your birthday, you were so happy to get a new Dad for your birthday

…You adopted him, changed your name to his

…You readily accepted and loved 5 new siblings

…your internship to Arizona, you were so determined to do it, and you and Kim driving across the country to get there, making a bond with the two of you that nothing else would ever have accomplished

…your new friends in Arizona, and the problems you had there

…the call from Cindy on Dec 3, 1995, "something is wrong with Kelley, they called me to come to the hospital"

…the call from the hospital, "she was hit by a car, and I am sorry, she is dead".

So many memories of that day that are forever embedded in my mind.
….I was putting groceries away when the call came
… Joe and Christine sat at the kitchen table crying
… Kim came just as soon as she could possibly get there
…Ann and Morris spending much time with us
…Debbie dropping everything and running to help
….Fatima feeling like she lost a family member

That was without a doubt the worst day of my life, but thanks to intense griefwork, and a few very special people, I can say that I am still going. Joe was my cornerstone, without his unconditional support, I would have fallen apart. Kim, who is much more than a daughter and always has been, has been my sun through the clouds. Joseph and Christine, even though they were not aware of it, helped me through my grief, even while they were dealing with theirs. Fatima was always there, filling me in on the year of your life that I missed, and without my online support, Sandy and Cheryl mainly, I just don't know.

I am grateful now that I wake up every morning. I am grateful for each day, and for everyone who I love, and who loves me. I have learned that the small things are not worth bickering and getting upset about. The bottom can fall out of your life at any time. I am grateful that Kim and Dennis have gone above and beyond the role of daughter and son-in-law. I don't know where we would be without them. Now there is Baby Kelsey, the light in my life. That she has spent time with you before she came here makes me love her all the more. Seeing her and spending time with her so often opens my eyes to many things.

I know I have missed listing many things in your life, there was so much for someone so young. I'll always love you, and I'll always remember our closeness, how you, Kim and I were "the 3 musketeers" for so long. I miss you Kelley, and so does everyone else. Be the bright star in the universe like you always were on this planet.

I love you
Mom

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